Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyoneelse was in liquidation.
Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bankof the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
Friday, March 11, 2005
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
You know you've been in College too long when:
You consider McDonald's "real food."
You actually like doing laundry at home.
4:00 AM is still early on the weekends.
It starts getting late on the weeknights.
Two miles is not too far to walk for a party.
You wear dirty socks three times in a row and think nothing of it.
You'd rather clean than study.
Half the time you don't wake up in your own bed and it seems normal. Computer Solitaire is more than a game it's a way of life.
You schedule your classes around sleep habits and soaps.
You know the pizza boy by name.
You go to sleep when it's light and get up when it's dark.
You live for getting mail. (E-mail included)
Looking out the window is a form of entertainment.
Prank phone calls become funny again.
Wal-Mart is the coolest store.
World War III could take place and you'd be clueless.
You start thinking and sounding like your roommate.
Blacklights and highlighters are the coolest things on earth.
Rearranging your room is your favorite pastime.
You find out milk crates have so many uses.
The weekend lasts from Thursday to Sunday. (or Wednesday morning to Tuesday night)
You actually like doing laundry at home.
4:00 AM is still early on the weekends.
It starts getting late on the weeknights.
Two miles is not too far to walk for a party.
You wear dirty socks three times in a row and think nothing of it.
You'd rather clean than study.
Half the time you don't wake up in your own bed and it seems normal. Computer Solitaire is more than a game it's a way of life.
You schedule your classes around sleep habits and soaps.
You know the pizza boy by name.
You go to sleep when it's light and get up when it's dark.
You live for getting mail. (E-mail included)
Looking out the window is a form of entertainment.
Prank phone calls become funny again.
Wal-Mart is the coolest store.
World War III could take place and you'd be clueless.
You start thinking and sounding like your roommate.
Blacklights and highlighters are the coolest things on earth.
Rearranging your room is your favorite pastime.
You find out milk crates have so many uses.
The weekend lasts from Thursday to Sunday. (or Wednesday morning to Tuesday night)
Saturday, March 05, 2005
You Know You're Indonesian When...
Your stomach growls when you don't eat rice for a day.
You believe kecap ABC could turn bad cooking to gourmet food.
You talk during a movie.
You eat fried rice in the morning.
You don't think Jim Carrey is funny.
You think Onky Alexander is a hunk.
You think Rhoma Irama is kampungan.
You carry a 16 oz. jar of sambal to where ever you travel.
You think dangdut is stupid, but listen to it anyways, because you are homesick.
You are willing to travel 25 miles to buy tahu and tempe.
You are "Dreaming of a WARM Christmas".
Your local McDonald's serves rice and sambal.
You think Supermi is a staple food.
You have ever tried passing a Rp 50 coin as a quarter in a US vending machine/pay phone.
You have ever successfully bribed a police officer.
You have ever successfully bribed a customs officer.
Your drivers license claims you are 5 years older then you really are.
You have ever legally bought pirated software.
You have ever been forced to memorize UUD'45.
You have bought something from a barefooted street peddler.
You have ever eaten something sold off a cart on wheels.
You realized that money is everything before you were six.
The first thing that comes to mind when hearing the word "Jakarta" is "macet".
Someone you know has ever ridden on top of a train.
Your daily commute includes thinking up new ways to ride the city bus for free.
You don't mind people being late.
You think standing in line is a waste of time.
You have tried every Monday of your youth trying to avoid upacara bendera.
You have used a mosquito repellant that looks like a coil and is lit on one end.
You use the terms "Ni yee", "-lah" and "Ih, jijay" on daily basis
You know what Pancasila is, what it means and know it by heart.
Your daily conversation may include enactments of TV commercials.
Your whole class has ever cheated on a test, and gotten away with it.
You have ever spent the night before an exam looking for someone who sells the questions.
You like the smell of terasi.
You think the Thomas Cup is equal to the Super Bowl.
You can name a manufacturer of shuttlecocks/badminton birdies.
You have a 16' satellite dish hidden in your back yard.
You have ever ridden in a motor vehicle with three wheels.
You miss your maid during laundry day.
Your clothing has brand names printed on it that is visible from 50' away.
You attend weddings only until you are done eating.
You have attended weddings that you are not invited to.
You go to McDonald's to get your weekly supply of ketchup, salt, pepper and napkins.
You know more than one music group that stole the tune of Cranberries' "Zombie".
You have a can of Baygon on your kitchen table.
You make major decisions based on gengsi.
You take advantage of Wal-Mart's 30 days money-back-guarantee to "borrow" home appliances.
Someone in your family has extra pockets in his outfit to hide cookies from the all-you-can-eat bar.
When watching TV you regularly find that all the channels broadcast the same thing.
You know more than 10 acronyms/abbreviations.
You set the ring tone of your cell phone as loud as possible.
You spend your weekends at an expensive five star hotel near your house.
You have one of those gigantic 5000 watts stereo system even though you can't turn it as loud as you can since you live in a crowded neighborhood.
Your Toyota Kijang is packed with bull bar, fog lights, roof rail, car alarm, expensive car audio, gold plated emblems, tail light "protector", racing steering wheels, sports muffler, lowered suspension, 17 inch wheels with expensive tires, etc. Yet you find them not gaul enough.
You are able to squeeze 15 passengers in your Toyota Kijang.
If you're rich, you buy a huge 50.000 dollars imported SUV and demands it to run minimal 12 kilometers with a liter of gas.
You refuse to buy unleaded gas for your imported car even though it costs less than 20 cents a liter.
You have your drivers license at the age of 14.
You got it without any driving tests.
You are unfamiliar with electric stove.
You are even more unfamiliar with microwave ovens.
If you're a student, your main purpose in life is to succeed in UMPTN and get into a Universitas Negeri.
If you've graduated from college, your main purpose in life is to find an easy job with big salary at a foreign company even if you have to stay unemployed for five years to find one.
If you finally got a job, your main purpose in life is now to get a wife/husband that's rich, from a "good" family, and the most importantly good looking in order to memperbaiki keturunan.
You're proud to be Indonesian - and you pass these jokes on to all your Indonesian friends!
You believe kecap ABC could turn bad cooking to gourmet food.
You talk during a movie.
You eat fried rice in the morning.
You don't think Jim Carrey is funny.
You think Onky Alexander is a hunk.
You think Rhoma Irama is kampungan.
You carry a 16 oz. jar of sambal to where ever you travel.
You think dangdut is stupid, but listen to it anyways, because you are homesick.
You are willing to travel 25 miles to buy tahu and tempe.
You are "Dreaming of a WARM Christmas".
Your local McDonald's serves rice and sambal.
You think Supermi is a staple food.
You have ever tried passing a Rp 50 coin as a quarter in a US vending machine/pay phone.
You have ever successfully bribed a police officer.
You have ever successfully bribed a customs officer.
Your drivers license claims you are 5 years older then you really are.
You have ever legally bought pirated software.
You have ever been forced to memorize UUD'45.
You have bought something from a barefooted street peddler.
You have ever eaten something sold off a cart on wheels.
You realized that money is everything before you were six.
The first thing that comes to mind when hearing the word "Jakarta" is "macet".
Someone you know has ever ridden on top of a train.
Your daily commute includes thinking up new ways to ride the city bus for free.
You don't mind people being late.
You think standing in line is a waste of time.
You have tried every Monday of your youth trying to avoid upacara bendera.
You have used a mosquito repellant that looks like a coil and is lit on one end.
You use the terms "Ni yee", "-lah" and "Ih, jijay" on daily basis
You know what Pancasila is, what it means and know it by heart.
Your daily conversation may include enactments of TV commercials.
Your whole class has ever cheated on a test, and gotten away with it.
You have ever spent the night before an exam looking for someone who sells the questions.
You like the smell of terasi.
You think the Thomas Cup is equal to the Super Bowl.
You can name a manufacturer of shuttlecocks/badminton birdies.
You have a 16' satellite dish hidden in your back yard.
You have ever ridden in a motor vehicle with three wheels.
You miss your maid during laundry day.
Your clothing has brand names printed on it that is visible from 50' away.
You attend weddings only until you are done eating.
You have attended weddings that you are not invited to.
You go to McDonald's to get your weekly supply of ketchup, salt, pepper and napkins.
You know more than one music group that stole the tune of Cranberries' "Zombie".
You have a can of Baygon on your kitchen table.
You make major decisions based on gengsi.
You take advantage of Wal-Mart's 30 days money-back-guarantee to "borrow" home appliances.
Someone in your family has extra pockets in his outfit to hide cookies from the all-you-can-eat bar.
When watching TV you regularly find that all the channels broadcast the same thing.
You know more than 10 acronyms/abbreviations.
You set the ring tone of your cell phone as loud as possible.
You spend your weekends at an expensive five star hotel near your house.
You have one of those gigantic 5000 watts stereo system even though you can't turn it as loud as you can since you live in a crowded neighborhood.
Your Toyota Kijang is packed with bull bar, fog lights, roof rail, car alarm, expensive car audio, gold plated emblems, tail light "protector", racing steering wheels, sports muffler, lowered suspension, 17 inch wheels with expensive tires, etc. Yet you find them not gaul enough.
You are able to squeeze 15 passengers in your Toyota Kijang.
If you're rich, you buy a huge 50.000 dollars imported SUV and demands it to run minimal 12 kilometers with a liter of gas.
You refuse to buy unleaded gas for your imported car even though it costs less than 20 cents a liter.
You have your drivers license at the age of 14.
You got it without any driving tests.
You are unfamiliar with electric stove.
You are even more unfamiliar with microwave ovens.
If you're a student, your main purpose in life is to succeed in UMPTN and get into a Universitas Negeri.
If you've graduated from college, your main purpose in life is to find an easy job with big salary at a foreign company even if you have to stay unemployed for five years to find one.
If you finally got a job, your main purpose in life is now to get a wife/husband that's rich, from a "good" family, and the most importantly good looking in order to memperbaiki keturunan.
You're proud to be Indonesian - and you pass these jokes on to all your Indonesian friends!
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